An Apple A Day
by Willie The Plaid Jacket
Summary: A response to a really old challenge by Cabaret on the ATSB. All of the dialogue was already given but you had to decide who said what and build a story around it. so here's my attempt.


"Stop staring at me!" Murdock said, eyes firmly fixed on the movement of his hands refusing to let the other man's stare break his concentration.

"I can't help it." Face replied, sat nonchalantly in the side doorway of the van, one leg hanging down, the other propped up on the carpeted van floor. He held in one hand a half eaten apple that he turned around absent-mindedly in between bites whilst watching his friend juggle 3 pieces of the fruit.

Brows furrowed, Murdock replied, "Sure you can, just turn your head, its real easy."

"For you maybe, but _that_ is captivating" Face replied with a slight smirk as the distraction of the conversation caused Murdock to falter for a brief moment before regaining his composure and carrying on with his circus act as if nothing had happened.

"I mean it, stop staring at me."

In the background an irritated BA growled at having to listen to the circular argument that was taking place. He had had to listen to his two team mates discuss all things apple related, from apple pie to apple bobbing and now apple juggling, for the past few hours. Now finding himself with his head practically stuck in a crate of apples rummaging around for a glimpse of metal, he thought to himself that he would be quite happy if he never had to look at another apple ever again.

Face glanced up towards the landing on which Hannibal was stationed as the older man made a small guttural noise. The quiet vocalisation was almost too hushed to hear, but it echoed around the barn that the team were parked in. "Hey, what's up?"

"Oh, you know, same old same old. They're outside waiting for us. You'd think they'd give up by now, huh?" Hannibal replied, referring to the 'slime balls' who had been pursuing the team all afternoon. He pulled a cigar out of his pocket whilst simultaneously turning around in the direction of his lieutenant. Before the cigar reached his mouth however, Hannibal noticed Murdock's newfound interest. "Hey, that's captivating."

The distraction was one too many for the pilot as his concentration slipped for the slightest of moments, resulting in a wild flailing of arms as he attempted to catch the fruit that inevitably fell to the ground.

Face scoffed around a mouthful of apple only to receive an unimpressed look from his friend.

"Oh, shut up." Murdock added whilst retrieving the fallen items. Choosing to ignore Face and the sniggers he was sure he could hear coming from behind him, his attention turned to Hannibal and he asked, "So what's the plan?"

"Do what we always do." The comment was natural and seemed the most obvious answer in the world.

The simplicity of the colonel's reply put a smile on Murdock's face as he added, "But do it in style, right?"

"What other way is there to do it?" The two men chuckled and Murdock once more retuned to his juggling.

Face on the other hand did not see the humour in the situation. "Well according to you many more than we can think of."

"Can I help it if I'm a genius?" The remark was meant partly as a joke, but the younger man replied merely with a role of his eyes and a shake of his head.

"No, but you can help others by not promoting it", came a muffled retort from the back of the barn.

"Just trying to spread the knowledge", Hannibal said with a shrug of his shoulders. He headed for the ladder and joined his men on the ground. Finally placing the cigar between his lips, he lit it and enjoyed the relaxing taste of the tobacco, letting it fill his lungs and clear his mind. It was just a matter of time before a plan would slot together like it always did. He would let the calming effects of the smoke weave its magic for a moment while he leant against the van next to the open door where Face was perched.

Studying Murdock keeping the objects in the air, it occurred to Hannibal that he'd never seen the man juggle before, but he wasn't surprised that he was capable of such a feat. Much like how he had been totally unsurprised the first time he played cards with Face and found himself losing every hand.

"Everyone should have a gift like that", he finally stated to no one in particular.

"It really is captivating, huh? I mean, there's just no other word for it."

Murdock knew that Face was intentionally trying to distract him now and instead of fumbling, he caught the apples and pointedly glared at the other man.

"It might look more captivating from an angle of face up and flat on your back, you know" he said defiantly, holding up one of the hard fruits for emphasis.

"You wouldn't dare!" Now wary, Face stood up and began backing away.

"Try me." With that Murdock launched a round, firm and potentially bruise-inducing apple aimed directly at Face's head.

"Hey, hey!" Deftly dodging the foodstuff, Face eventually retaliated with a barrage of his own. The intended target however ducked from the incoming missile and it instead hit the back of a very tired, very angry BA Baracus.

"Hey!" he shouted as he turned, eyes flicking from Murdock to Face and back again. The men accusingly pointed at one another, neither wishing to feel the large man's wrath.

At that moment, the team's client and owner of the plentiful fruit entered the barn from the smaller adjoining back room in which she had been placed to search for anything that could come in handy against the men outside.

Slightly alarmed by raised voices she asked in a southern twang, "What's with all the hay? Someone let a horse out?"

BA groaned as he focused on the intruder and the two apples she was subconsciously juggling. "Damn it! Not you too!"

"What I say?" she asked innocently, remaining totally unaware of the previous events.

Hannibal moved towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's a touchy thing", he said in a 'Don't worry about it' tone of voice.

"I am not touchy!" BA corrected.

Unable to resist the opportunity Murdock jibed, "Nah, but I heard you were feely."

"Not with you", BA replied, trying to defy the urge to drop one of those crates on the pilot's head.

Completely ignorant of BA's rage, Murdock simply responded melodramatically, "I'm hurt and shocked."

Hannibal and Face could feel the tension reaching unbearable levels and were thankful when their client interrupted.

"What are we waiting for anyway?" For her, the whole day had been somewhat of a blur. They had started in the very barn in which they now stood packing crates when the local 'bad guys', as the team had referred to them, had barged in and a fight had ensued. Unable to take the van due to their situation, they had fled into the woods and remained hidden until they were sure it was safe to return. However, they were now seemingly worse off than before, stuck in an Alamo-like situation with only groceries as a means of defence.

"Car keys." Suffice to say it was not the answer she had been expecting.

"What?"

"It seems someone lost them" Hannibal continued, directing the statement at the tall, lanky Captain.

"Don't look at me, you said keep 'em in a safe place." That safe place had been an apple crate, but in the panic to escape the bad guys he had failed to note the exact crate in which he had thrown the keys into.

"Not _that_ safe" Face added.

"I could think of no other" Murdock defended.

"And apparently your thoughts have taken a rapid decline since then." Gesturing to the apples that lay scattered on the floor at Murdock's feet, Face raised an eyebrow.

"It's not my fault. I was…" he bent down to pick up the discarded juggling utensils, "captivated."

"Right," BA bellowed, "That's it!" as he grabbed a handful of pie filling, juice producing, juggler aiding apples and locked eyes with his terrified looking team mates. He'd had enough of apples for one day.


End file.
